Wednesday 16 December, 2009

Let's Pretend We Are Together

In front of mirror I stand
Caressing your reflection
Feeling the warmth of your breath
Melody of voice never heard
Capturing the fleeting heaven
Central to my existence

Do I see speck of shadow
Settling in your eye
Brewing storm in your chest
Nudging doubts
Burgeoning annoyance
Ready to blow my world in smithereens

Up you throw your hands
Too far away we are ....You say
And turn to retract your steps
Away from my pleading eyes
Crushing silent hopes for good

Please...Can't we pretend just this once
that we are together...

Friday 5 June, 2009

One day at a time

One day when too many people in my office came up to me to tell how angry they were feeling, it set me thinking about growing frustrations and dissatisfactions in our everyday lives. Most of those who were complaining were young, talented, intelligent people with much to look forward to. I tried to remember if I used to be as impatient and short tempered when I started off as a young professional, and could not recall it (Forgetfulness has its own advantages)

While talking over this matter with my hubby over a cup of tea in the evening, I realized that there was not much that we both could understand about it. I guess, it has a lot to do with age, coz as you grow older you realize that there is no way one can speed things up. Neither is there any way one can change another individual, be it a perverse boss or an irritating colleague, unreasonable spouse or demanding child. One tends to learn with age that there has been no invention so far that could stop family emergencies from cropping up at the most inconvenient moments, no pill to keep bad hair days at bay and finally no magical diet to make you svelte while boosting your energy and taking your creativity to new heights.

But then, a lot of it has to do with our attitude, our expectations from others and ourselves and our ability to handle failure, disappointments and heartbreaks. I would go on to suggest that the extent of our belief in an unfair God or destiny can be a measure of our dissatisfaction.

So, as I struggle to lead a fruitful life while evolving into a better and positive person, I try to count my blessings every morning. Sure enough, most days I feel pretty fortunate and grateful for all I have. I must admit that there are still long spells of depression when I wake up in despair and wash my face every time I go to bathroom because I don’t want anyone else to know that I have been crying.

While still trying to figure out the way to eternal bliss, I must say that taking one day at a time goes a long way in keeping anxieties at bay. Believing in a benign fatherly god, and trusting that there is a reason behind everything that happens, does help in maintaining right perspective.

Friday 29 May, 2009

Dreams

I pull your dreams out of my hair
As I wake up each morning

When I hug my knees
I find them still clinging to my fingers

With no more tears to wash my hands
I suck on my finger tips

Once inside my mouth I twirl my tongue
Around their soft bodies

Tasting them before I swallow
Making them mine forever

Who did these dreams belong to….

Sunday 22 February, 2009

Learn to Love

The Valentine month is not over yet even though the red roses you gave and received must have wilted and since then thrown away. The place where I work is full of young people who showed considerable enthusiasm for the festival of love and since then there has been a debate going on about what love truly means. Here are some things that I would like to add to what all has been already said.

Among other things, love involves opening up our hearts, minds and souls to let others see who we really are with all our vulnerability and strength, trusting that we are actually lovable. Contrary to popular belief, love is not placid and passive devoid of all energy. Rather it is passionate and active as each small step we take to replace lies with truth, criticism with praise and fear with love is a big leap towards a new way of life. Loving means trusting that God’s support is present in your life.

Before it’s possible to love anyone, you have to risk and start to know yourself and confront the way you carry love into this world. Loving another being is not about him/her it’s about you. So, learning to love entails facing your true self and accepting the responsibility to become the person you want to be. As your inner dialogue goes on perpetually, God is always a part of it whether you choose to listen or not.

Ability to give unconditional love and accept it joyfully comes when you get ready to listen to loving messages from yourself and others. Let me wind up with a quote from my favourite poet, Khalil Gibran—

Love one another but make not a bond of love

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your soul.

Tuesday 10 February, 2009

Where Do You End And I Begin...

Lying on my back I often wonder
Where one cloud ends and another begins?
Where river ends and sea begins?
Where spring ends and summer begins?
and finally where do you end and I begin?

Wednesday 7 January, 2009

My Echo, My Shadow and Me


Where do the longing lie
My throbbing head or squashing heart?

My echo resonates what is rooted deep inside
Whispering in my ears what I don’t want to hear
Putting its tongue right inside my ear
Eternal buzz robbing me of all peace
No escape…not really


My shadow torments me
Pursuing me relentlessly
Pushing me towards myself
Forcing me to hug and love myself
Flooding me with forbidden desires


In this perpetual struggle
We three live together
My Echo, My Shadow and Me