Phoenix

I was looking for a recipe for brownies when I came across these lines that I had written some 10 years ago. As I read them, I laughed and then I cried; laughed because I was reminded what it is like to be 25 again and cried because I could feel the pain and confusion all over again that I would have felt when I wrote these lines.

This poem is part of- Angels Vs Demons- An anthology by Destiny to Write Publications. Free copy of the ebook can be downloaded by visiting the below link

http://poetrybybarrymowles.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/angels-vsdemons-ebook-final1.pdf

Segmented lives
story line of a new movie
badly edited
one thing does not lead to another
only to confusion...
...and fear
broken images stare back
from the fragmented mirror
as I gasp for air
living a hundred lives
dwarfed...
I had my own sky
for a moment
price is rest of my life
but I lived
I was alive if only for a moment
the putrid smell of sadness and wisdom
emanates from what was alive once.





Laughter, bloating numbness,
and pain, rising alternatively.
blow was heavy and swift,
still stinging into my skin
making the sting of successive
blows insignificant
I am no longer myself
what I am afraid of is that
someday I will rise again
and be myself again

I Am Waiting

This poem is part of- Puppet on a String, an anthology by Destiny to Write Publications. Free copy of ebook can be downloaded by visiting the below link:

  http://poetrybybarrymowles.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/puppet-on-a-string-new1.pdf

Listening to the silence
In the quiet of the night

I am waiting
For you to wake up
You continue sleep walking

How could it be
That you saw my ties
but missed the pearls
Scattered around me
I know you will gather them once you wake up

Sitting in the dead of night
I embroider these pearls
into the design of my tapestry
while I wait for you to wake up

At times waiting hurts more
Than the needle that pricks my finger
And draws out the blood
More pearls than rubies surround me
As I wait for you to wake up

The Other Side

This poem has been published in prestigious The Open Road Review. click on the link below to check out
 http://openroadreview.in/the-other-side-by-nalini-priyadarshni/

I follow him
stepping on his footprints
he is
out there
somewhere
beyond the mist
I call out
not sure
whether its an echo
that comes back to me
or is it that he called my name.

Notes to myself

I have been thinking about it since the day I read that silly article about Newton’s law of gravity. It questioned our belief about the time when certain things come into existence. Have they been always there, for us to find out? The law of gravity..... Did it come into existence when Newton propounded it or it was there for eons laying in wait to be discovered? How many things are out there, waiting for us to notice them, many of them basic and important as law of gravity? I know it’s completely silly, in a world threatened by recession with market down in dumps; nobody wants to think about it. All my husband talks about now a days is, how bad market is and what difficult times are ahead and that I should be spending less money every evening as he drives me home from work. I grunt occasionally, but my eyes glaze over with my mind obsessed with this silly problem.


Actually, there is another question, not very different. When do people fall in love? When they meet someone who seems special to them or is it that they have always been in love with that person and they just realize it when they meet him? I am not talking about finding someone interesting or suitable. There are people you say hello to and they look at you and smile and you feel you have known them all your life. You share with them what you can’t imagine sharing with anyone, not even your best friend. They casually say something and you feel compelled to follow through. When you are with them, the big void you have always felt in the pit of your stomach suddenly fills up.

I am talking about those people you know are all wrong for you but still you feel that if you didn’t spend rest of your life with them then you have missed the boat. They give you much grief and still you feel that life would lose all meaning without them. Thinking about them is nothing short of meditating and they are capable of teaching you all you need to know. Those who believe in spiritualism say that we know everything and learning is just remembering what we already know. We learn so that we carry it forward in another lifetime.

Is it so with love too? Do we just remember what is already know or is it how scientists have put it? Instinct....

It’s an honest enquiry folks. Do share what you feel or what your experience says.

Useless Words

Dipping my hands in love

I press words to mould them

Into my allies

asking them to convey what I cannot

 

He chooses to remain illiterate.

 

Hugging my knees I tell him

Dreams keep flying inside my head

Robbing me of all peace

Driving away every bit of sleep

 

He yawns- it’s time for his forty winks

 

What do I do

When words is all I have

To tell what cannot be told in words

To someone who won’t listen

Evening by the Lake

I saw them sitting beside each other, near the lake, looking into each others eyes as people do when they are in love. She, then, slipped her arm inside his arm and squeezed it. He was tall and fair with a mop of black hair and she was short and petite and dusky. Her long hair had an orange tinge of henna. They sat there quite oblivious of the world that bustled around them. They had eyes only for each other. They did not speak much. They did not have to, for love needs no words. She looked up in his eyes and smiled, spreading the radiance on her face. Suddenly, he gave a short laugh and turning almost completely to face her, asked her," If we ever meet again, later in life, would you recognise me? or you would turn your face away pretending not to know me."
Smile left girl's face. Her eyes grew sombre and her face ashen. She quietly withdrew her arm before she turned to face him. Pain could be seen writ large in her eyes, so much so that he could not see it and he closed his eyes. She, then, straightened her back and in a very steady voice replied," No, I won't ever recognise you if we happen to meet again. You are, either a part of my life or you don't exist."
They both were quiet for some time, silently pondering over the words they had just exchanged, their meanings and their repercussions. But the evening was beautiful and they were far too young to let the sorrows and heart ache of tommorow spoile the moment. When I got up from there, they were still sitting there, their arms interwined and her head on his shoulder.

Every Woman

I am more than I think I am
I am more than I see when I look into the mirror
I am more than I have heard about myself
I am more than I could imagine I would ever be

There was a time when I wanted everything
But nothing made me happy
Dreams started to wither away
chocked by the weeds of regrets

So I sat down very still
beside the river of life
looking in the swirling waters
trying to find what I really wanted

Life is a jigsaw puzzle
whose pieces have fallen away
They can be put back together
I gather them... snatches of songs
forgotten passages of poems
faded photographs and old journals
memories gathering dust
at the back of my mind

I am afraid to take a chance
but I will do it anyway
I have done things
that did not turn out well

But I am getting better and better
Its time to move on
To do different things
differently...

Cacophony of desires no longer
violate the solitude of mind
I almost know what I want
But I must be patient enough
to get it.